What an exhausting night I have had.
I have counted dozens of sheep, I have walked along white sandy beaches with sparkling blue green water lapping at my feet, I have made myself aware of my breathing, I have counted yet more sheep, I have admired the view of Hamnavoe from the window of our holiday home, and still those pesky sheep keep escaping and need to be rounded up again.
I wrestle with problems no one in their sane mind would want to consider; they go round and round like a never stopping turntable in my brain with no solution.
I get up and prowl the house, looking out of the window at late night revellers on their way home, risking the Meadows at eerie hours.
I look at my clock….. a lot. It’s luminous face tells me it is 10:30 as I put my book down and turn off the light. I want an early night as His Lordship and I have planned a final sunrise training run on empty roads in the morning.
I look at my clock- it’s 11:OO -not a problem
I look at my clock – it’s 11:30 – a slight problem
I look at my clock – it’s midnight, mmm. I hope I fall asleep soon. I have to be up at 5.
I look at my clock at 12:30, 1:00, 1:30, 2:00, 2:30, 2:42, 2:57.
Ground control we have a big problem.
I awake with a start. Something has woken me. I look at my clock- it’s 4:30. I get up to find a man in Lycra standing in the hall. He has his name plastered over his chest: Banesto it says in big letters. It’s barely light, but I am not afraid.
He must be the superintendent of this lunatic asylum that I inhabit. I tell him I only got to sleep at 3am. He puts his cycling gloved hand on my shoulder and tells me I can’t possible do a 40 mile cycle run on so little sleep, (even though there are competitors doing much worse as they compete in the L E L* cycle race), but I let him guide me back to bed with little protest.
Now apart from the sheep, the beaches and my innumerable anxieties, which happily don’t include the cake for some reason, I have the added guilt of a training run cancellation and the need to obey the Lycra man who tells me to go back to sleep and have a long lie.
And do I fall asleep? Absolutely not. It’s such a relief to get up at 7:30 with all the sheep corralled and the anxieties cut down to day time size.
I do miss the white sandy beach though, with the white frilly wavelets tickling my toes… maybe tonight I’ll be back.
* London- Edinburgh-London cycle race which started on Sunday and has to be completed within 5 days.